I printed out this quote and taped it to my door so I would see it every day.

Because I lived in fear.

For many years, it controlled my life.

In my teens and early 20's, fear blocked me from everything I wanted:

• Couldn't make friends (unless they came to me)

• Couldn't meet girls (unless they came to me)

• Couldn't ask for a spot in the gym

• Couldn't sell

• Couldn't network

• Couldn't make very much money

• Couldn't express my opinions (except on the internet)

It was bad.

I tried to force myself.

One day in college I told myself I was going to walk around campus and say "hi" to 5 girls that I passed.

That's it. Just "hi".

I walked around for HOURS, passed tons of girls, and couldn't do it.

In fact, I repeated this exercise multiple times and managed to get myself to say "hi" a grand total of 2 times.

After I graduated from college, I couldn't get a job.

(big surprise there, right??)

My dad managed to get me an unpaid internship working for a financial advisor he knew from church.

My job was just to be receptionist. Whenever someone called, I would answer the phone, greet the person, and transfer the call.

Dead simple. But for WEEKS I kept messing it up.

If it wasn't for the fact that I wasn't getting paid, I almost definitely would've gotten fired.

Not because I was dumb, but because I had such anxiety talking to strangers on the phone that I couldn't think straight.

Maybe it would be more accurate to say that I WAS dumb, at least in that moment.

Anxiety made me functionally retarded.

It was embarrassing.

I humiliated myself over and over again.

I was broke, I was lonely, and I felt totally emasculated.

I was a pathetic excuse for a man.

And of course I was totally unattractive to women.

But my saving grace was this:

I always believed I could get better.

Which is not what most people believe.

Most people get sucked into "born this way" thinking. Which the propaganda pushes on us relentlessly.

But I didn't. I believed I could change.

And I had at least enough self-awareness to know that fear was ruining my life.

That's why I taped that quote to my door.

I tried a lot of things to beat my anxiety.

My approach to most problems in life is to find a bunch of possible solutions, and try all of them. At the same time.

It's like when I get a virus on my computer, I run every antivirus software I can find until the computer starts working again.

It eventually works, but I'm never sure exactly WHICH software was the one that solved the problem.

• I tried hypnosis.

• I tried subliminal suggestions.

• I tried analyzing my childhood to figure out where this fear came from.

• I tried affirmations.

None of it worked very well.

(although there's a special way of doing affirmations that I found later that DOES work--I'll get to that soon)

One day I met a guy named John (not his real name).

He introduced himself to me. (Of course—I didn’t talk to strangers.)

John and I clicked immediately.

He was smart, motivated, ambitious, had a lot of the same interests as me...

...and John was COMPLETELY FEARLESS.

As someone desperately struggling against fear, I was in awe.

That said, he was not the easiest person to get along with. He later admitted to me that he was a diagnosed psychopath.

Now a psychopath is not necessarily someone who goes around murdering people, like a lot of people think.

Although they're more likely to than normal people.

It's basically an emotional block. They don't feel certain emotions.

They don't feel empathy (that is, they don't automatically pick up on other people's emotions the way most people do).

They also don't feel fear.

Anyway it was a difficult friendship, but I hung out with John a lot.

Being around him normalized the idea of living fearlessly.

It made it easier.

It pushed me out of my comfort zone.

When John saw a girl he thought was pretty, he would go right up and talk to her, without hesitation.

After a while, I started doing the same.

Because I saw him do it, it became more normal in my mind.

That friendship didn't last forever, but it helped me a lot. And I think I helped him to not act like such a crazy person and scare away everyone else.

At the same time, I was still heavy into self-development.

I started meditating regularly. Which is AMAZING for anxiety...but more on that later.

I also took magic mushrooms a few times.

Which legitimately helped. It gave me the ability to see things in my life from a more balanced perspective.

Thought I don't necessarily recommend it.

Even though I definitely benefitted from the experience, I think psychedelics cause some degree of brain damage.

I haven't done any in quite a few years now.

I also tried a bunch of variations of forcing myself to do things that made me feel uncomfortable.

For example, once I made myself go outside, in public, and stand right in front of a tree. Not moving, just staring at the tree. Like some kind of crazy person.

Another time when I was feeling particularly inspired, I put on green suspenders and a Santa Claus hat (don't ask me why I had those)...

...and went around a crowded shopping area stopping in front of people saying "ho ho ho!"

I was pushing past my fear with brute force. Sheer force of will.

It worked to some extent, but it was super difficult.

Life started getting better for me steadily as I gained more and more courage.

I got better jobs and had girlfriends.

And I started to do more courageous things in terms of my actual lifestyle and meeting my goals.

(as opposed to just acting like a weirdo in public to desensitize myself)

I travelled to a bunch of foreign countries, alone.

Including Colombia and Puerto Rico.

I just about gave my poor mother a heart attack plenty of times.

I quit my cushy $85K/year job to try to start a business.

With no real plan--pretty much sink or swim.

I spent $36,000 (that I didn't have) to hire a business mentor.

I lived in South America for almost a year, trying to make my business work, going further and further into debt.

I was $70,000 in debt, and had just about maxed out all my credit cards by the time my business finally started to make some money.

Once in Brazil, I saw a thief trying to steal a woman's purse, and I attacked him.

He let go of the purse and ran away.

Frankly I'm lucky I didn't get stabbed.

But what I noticed is that courage picks up momentum.

You do one thing that's a little outside your comfort zone, and the next thing becomes easier.

When you start to make a habit of living courageously, it becomes normal.

It becomes easy.

And I'm much stronger now, because I've lived through difficult situations.

Because I exercised courage.

After quitting my job, moving halfway across the world, getting in fights with criminals, etc...talking to a stranger on the phone just doesn't scare me anymore.

In the same way, being poor doesn't scare me.

Because I've been poor.

I know how to survive.

If I lose all my money tomorrow, I know I'll be OK. And I'll get it all back.

I genuinely feel sorry for people who are born into wealth.

For them, being poor is something to fear.

For me it's not.

In fact, I think if I was born rich, I would give it all up (at least temporarily) and try to make my way in the world starting from zero.

That way I could take risks and not be afraid.

This is a long story, and I promise it's almost over. But there's one more thing I found that I want to mention.

And that is that I happened upon a book written by a mysterious Russian physicist, who goes by the name Vadim Zeland. I think it's not his real name--he prefers to be anonymous.

He wrote a strange book called Reality Transurfing--and a follow up book called Tufti the Priestess--that gave me a new understanding of fear and how to defeat it.

I'll get into what I learned from those books, but for now I wanted to mention them because they're an important part of the story.

Anyway, one day I realized that the fear was just gone.

I didn't even notice it. Living without fear had just become normal.

I was just musing about the past one day and it dawned on me: I did it. I beat fear!

This thing I've been battling tooth and nail for YEARS has just faded away...and I didn't even notice it leave.

Kinda like how when you have some nagging pain that eventually goes away, you don't really notice when it's gone.

Just eventually the thought pops in your head: "Hey I had a pain in my elbow, didn't I? It's gone."

It was the same for me. It just faded from my consciousness.

And I'm not saying I don't ever feel fear anymore. I do. But it comes up in special circumstances…like it's supposed to.

It's no longer my normal state of existence.

Now when I want something, I go get it.

I created a successful business from scratch. I did live presentations, sales calls, and even hired a team.

I'm happily married.

I feel at ease, I feel good about myself.

And I stand up for what I believe in.

The Inward Journey

So that's my story. My outward journey.

But what's at least as important--if not more--is the inward journey.

Overcoming fear is, after all, mostly a battle that exists inside your own mind.

The first big step was noticing.

I was honest with myself.

I realized that I was being ruled by fear, and it was ruining my life.

I didn't make excuses or try to avoid the truth.

Like: "I'm just quiet, that's my personality. It's how God made me, and I accept myself just the way I am."

Like they say in Alcoholics Anonymous: the first step is admitting you have a problem.

Once I realized I had a problem, I started to ask WHY.

WHY am I so afraid?

I started by analyzing my childhood.

Thinking back to the times I was rejected or felt left out.

I didn't find this very helpful.

I started to observe my feelings (meditation is very helpful for this).

I noticed that the standard explanation of "fear of rejection" didn't really apply to me.

It seemed to be this mental block that wouldn't let me do anything that I perceived as going against the normal social expectation.

Even if it was something totally harmless.

Like saying "hi" to girls I didn’t know.

Or when I was walking one direction and changed my mind about where I wanted to go. I would take out my phone, pretend to look at it, and then change direction.

Because it somehow seemed "wrong" to stop and change direction without explanation.

In fact, I noticed I was always coming up with an explanation in my head for everything I did that was the least bit out of the ordinary.

Like I had to explain myself to some imaginary person.

Which again, was a big step in the right direction.

Once I notice that I'm doing something ridiculous, then I can tell myself to knock it off.

In the Vadim Zeland books, he talks about a concept he calls "the script".

The idea is that we all live in a something like a movie, and we play the parts that are written for us in the movie script.

So everything we do is guided by a force outside ourselves.

We can't fight against that force. But we can switch to a new "script" that's more beneficial to us, using certain mental exercises.

I also realized I had a big problem with pride.

I was a very prideful person.

That might sound surprising. Most people think of pride as being loud and arrogant and boastful.

That's sometimes true. But for a lot of people, including me, pride means being so afraid to hurt your self-image that you can't express yourself.

If I expressed myself, I could be wrong or look stupid. If I tried to do something hard, I could fail.

And then I would feel like a failure.

So I stayed quiet to protect my pride.

Zeland describes the problem as "excess importance".

When you treat something as very important, it messes with your mind.

In this case, I was putting excess importance on my self-image.

Because of that, I was weak and timid. Which, ironically, hurt my self image much more than expressing myself would have.

Because of this excess importance, I also tended to imagine things going wrong, or bad things happening.

When you imagine bad things happening, you feel fear.

You also make it more likely that those bad things actually happen.

What Is Fear?

If you're still reading, it's probably because you want to be free from fear.

In order to be free from fear, you first have to understand it.

Fear is not a bad thing. It exists for a good reason.

And that is to keep you safe.

The people like my friend John who don't feel any fear at all have a tendency to end up in prison or dead.

Well, we all have a tendency to end up dead. But they end up dead early because they do crazy things that most of us would be afraid to do.

So if you feel fear, have a bit of gratitude.

Now, as I'm sure you've figured out, not all fear is healthy.

Healthy fear is a reaction to a clear and present danger.

This is what you feel when you see an angry grizzly bear 10 feet in front of you.

You feel fear, and it motivates you to fight, flight, or freeze. Which are generally appropriate reactions to a clear and present danger.

But here's the problem:

In our modern, coddled society, we rarely face any real danger. We don't see grizzly bears very often. So our fear response becomes super sensitive.

And we become afraid of things that are NOT a clear and present danger at all.

Unhealthy fear is a reaction to a future, imagined danger.

"If I tell the truth this thing, someone might call my job and tell them, and I'll get fired and never be able to find a job again, and then I'll be homeless and starve to death."

That's unhealthy fear.

There's no real danger, except the situation you're envisioning in your mind.

Even worse is when you feel fear of some danger that you can't even articulate.

You have a fear reaction to some situation, but you don't even know what you're afraid of.

That said, intuition is real. And sometimes you feel a sense of fear because there really is some unknown danger that your intuition is trying to warn you of.

But if you live in fear on a regular basis, that's not your intuition.

It's either a negative association buried in your subconscious. Like if you were bitten by a dog when you were a child, even if you were too young to remember it, and now you're afraid of dogs. And might not understand why.

Or it's a negative spiritual entity that's influencing you. More on that later.

But either way, unhealthy fear (also called "anxiety") is harmful because it's persistent.

Healthy fear in response to a real danger disappears as soon as you get away from the danger.

But if you feel fear of situations you create in your own mind...well, you can't escape from yourself.

So those fears stick around.

This is a big problem, because persistent anxiety drains your energy.

Think about what anxiety feels like in your body:

• Your heart beats fast

• You breathe heavier

• You might start to sweat

What does that sound like?

Anxiety does the same thing to your body as hard physical labor.

It saps your energy, but without you getting anything done.

The opposite of anxiety is called excitement. Or anticipation. And it has the opposite effect.

When you're excited about something, it GIVES you energy.

Even if your body is totally exhausted, you feel a high degree of energy that's coming from your excited mental state.

That's why a lot of people are most productive when they're excited about something.

Now if you have a problem with fear holding you back, it probably comes in levels.

There are some things that cause you a little bit of fear, and some that cause a lot.

I like to think of these levels of fear as walls to be broken down in order to get to our goals and dreams.

The first wall is the small circle.

It's a very small space around you. You're confined. Like a prison.

It's like you can barely move because there's so little that your fear will allow you to do.

And as long as you remain a prisoner, you're going to be miserable. Depressed. Feel bad about yourself and have an unhappy life.

If you can break down that first wall, then you have a little bit more freedom.

You can achieve small goals.

The more of the fear walls you break down, the more space you have. The more freedom.

And you can achieve bigger and bigger things.

Up to and including your ultimate life's purpose. Which you probably have no idea what that is until you start breaking down some of those walls.

The Fear Society

It can be hard to notice when you're focused on your own fear, but the truth is MOST PEOPLE live their lives in fear.

It's “normal”.

Society pushes it on us every day of our lives.

That includes all the usual propaganda outlets:

• media

• government

• the miseducation system

• mainstream medicine

• etc.

But it also includes people who care about us. Our families and friends.

Because they want you to be safe.

So they discourage you from taking the risks you know you need to take in order to have a life you can be proud of.

They might even try to discourage you because they think you're going to fail, and don't want you to be disappointed.

They probably mean well, but they're not helping.

And in many cases, they're unconsciously justifying their own cowardice.

Because THEY never took any risks and never accomplished much of anything, they don't want you to either.

Because if you did, it would make them feel even worse about their own lives and being slaves of fear themselves.

Of course, we always hide behind nice-sounding words like "realistic" and "responsible".

What those words really mean is COWARDLY.

And not everybody who tries to make you afraid has good intentions.

People who want power want you to be afraid.

So you never stand up to them. And you never call them out on their lies.

These are forces both physical and spiritual.

Spirits that come from God give us power. Courage. Boldness.

Not fear.

Some spirits have physical bodies. They're the people you see, hear, and touch.

Some spirits don't.

They're the ones that put ideas in your mind and cause you to feel sudden emotions with no rational explanation.

In both cases, good spirits encourage us and give us power. Evil spirits try to influence us to be afraid.

The old cartoon image of the angel sitting on one shoulder and devil sitting on the other isn't just a cute idea. It's real, and scientifically validated.

I'll probably get into detail in future newsletters, but if you're curious THIS is a great place to start.

The evil spirits occupying positions of influence in government, media, etc. (even religion)...

...love to make us afraid.

That's why they're always bombarding you with images of terrorism, disease, war, and natural disasters.

And political correctness.

Political correctness is a tool of fear.

Think about it. You have to shut up and not express yourself honestly, because if you say something “politically incorrect”…they'll punish you.

They'll shut down your social media, try to get you fired from your job, shut down your bank account, harass your family, and destroy your business.

Mainstream Everything is a fear-based system.

At the same time, they tell us that anxiety is a DISEASE.

And if you have this disease, you have to take drugs.

Drugs that are expensive, addictive, and don't work long-term.

If you were anxious before, imagine how anxious you'll be when you're broke, addicted to drugs, and know that you're screwed as soon as you lose your health insurance or there's some supply chain issues and you can't get your prescription!

Now, let me add a disclaimer: this is just my opinion. If the pills work for you, then by all means keep taking them. I don't have an agenda, I just want you to have a better life.

What works for me may be different from what works for you. So do what works for you.

The drugs may also be helpful in a crisis, such as a panic attack. I don't have experience with that, so I don't have an opinion either way.

How To Be Free Of Fear & Anxiety Forever

Ok, time for the practical steps.

The fact that you've made it this far and now you have a much better background understanding will make what I'm about to show you far more effective.

There are two parts to this. Outer work and inner work.

Because fear is both physical and spiritual.

You need to do both parts.

Part 1: Outer Work

Step 1: List everything that you want to do or achieve, but haven't been able to because of fear.

These could be related to your career, business, relationships, family, or just for fun.

A few examples:

• Record a video of yourself and start a YouTube channel

• Talk to that pretty girl in the office

• Travel to Asia

• Ask for a raise

• Text that friend that you haven't seen in a long time and now it feels weird

List everything you can think of.

Step 2: Rate each one on a scale of 1 to 10 how nervous it makes you feel.

Maybe asking for a raise scares you half to death, so you give it a 9.

But texting your friend only makes you a little bit uncomfortable, so you give it a 3.

Step 3: Commit to doing the one thing on your list that you rated the LOWEST

Since it's the lowest, it's not so bad. It's something you can do.

When you do it, it will give you confidence. You'll start to notice that you're a little bit more courageous than you were before.

Step 4: Then do the next lowest thing on your list.

Courage builds momentum.

Think of every fear that you face as a wall that you're knocking down.

You're setting yourself a little bit more free every time.

You also have the motivation because you really WANT the thing on the other side of that fear wall.

Which gives you more motivation than doing something pointless like staring at a tree.

Step 5: Each time you do something you were afraid to do, CELEBRATE!

"I just broke through a wall of fear. I'm becoming courageous."

Even if it's something small, nurture that feeling of pride. You are literally watching yourself become stronger and freer in real time.

That should excite you.

Part 2: Inner Work

These are the things that you do by yourself to help re-wire your thinking and gradually rid yourself of the ad influences that put you in fear in the first place.

This is not so much a step-by-step guide as it is a few of my favorite practices, in no particular order. You can pick and choose the ones that ones that work best for you.

Practice #1: Meditate

Ok I said no particular order, but this one is the most important.

Meditate every day. Even if only for a minute or two.

Meditation allows you to detach from situations, and your thoughts and your feelings.

It gives you the power to "wake up" in a stressful situation and look at it rationally.

Which is HUGE if you suffer from anxiety.

There are many ways to meditate. If you've never done it before, start with an app like Headspace and just follow the directions.

Practice #2: Get Specific

When you feel afraid, make a note of it.

What, specifically, are you afraid of?

Then dig a few levels deeper.

Here's an example:

• You, the Feeler: "I'm feeling anxious"

• You, the Observer: "What are you afraid of?"

• Feeler: "I'm afraid I'm going to fail"

• Observer: "What happens if you fail?"

• Feeler: "I'm afraid I'm going to fail and I'm going to look stupid"

• Observer: "Look stupid to whom?"

• Feeler: "I guess...mostly...my Dad."

• Observer: "How is your life going to change if you look stupid in front of your Dad?"

• Feeler: "Not really at all."

If you get specific about your fears, most of the time you find out they're really not that scary at all.

And the more you meditate, the stronger the "Observer" part of you is going to become.

Practice #3: Clear Charges

This is an exercise I learned from John Whiting of Bulletproof Entrepreneur, so credit to him for this one.

(although I put a bit of my own twist on it)

What we do here is reduce the importance of the thing you're afraid of.

Let me explain what I mean:

Let's say I lay a 2x4 on the ground. Could you walk across it without falling?

Probably so.

Now let's say the 2x4 is stretched between two giant skyscrapers thousands of feet above the Earth.

Can you still walk across it?

Now it's a lot more difficult, because of the fear involved. Because of the stakes of failing.

That is, the IMPORTANCE of what you have to lose.

If you can reduce the importance of possible future scenarios, you will be less afraid and will perform better.

It's a little involved, and I've talked about it before, so here is the link to my Emotional Freedom Exercise.

(this is part of my course on becoming a data analyst, but it works for anybody)

Practice #4: Visualization

Think about the things you want. What does the perfect life look like to you?

What is the version of YOU that has that life like?

See it and feel it in your mind's eye as well as you can.

Then act like that version of you would act.

Remember when I said that affirmations don't work?

Well this is the exception.

If you say "I am strong and courageous" and try to convince yourself, it's not going to work.

The little voice in your head is going to laugh at you. "You're not strong and courageous at all."

No good.

Instead, say "I am strong and courageous" and imagine a FUTURE version of yourself.

Put yourself in that person's shoes. Live as if you were already that future version of yourself.

It's like method acting.

You're not trying to convince yourself of something that isn't true. Intead, you're playing a part.

Play the part long enough, and you'll become it.

I have a full, detailed version of this exercise as well. If you're interested, let me know and maybe I'll include it in a future newsletter.

Practice #5: Self Development

Work on self-development every day.

Read, learn, exercise, go to church, control your vices, eat your vegetables.

Become a better person in every way you can.

This is the practical stuff you already know.

It's still important.

Practice #6: Faith In The Future

Faith destroys fear.

And faith isn't something that just happens to fall out of the sky on some ucky people. It's something you can cultivate.

Come up with some uplifting things that you ALREADY TRULY BELIEVE that you can remind yourself of.

For example:

• "If I keep going and don't give up, I HAVE TO be successful eventually. It is inevitable."

• "I'm getting better every day. The life I have reflects the person I am. As I become a better person, my life improves. God's justice is perfect."

• "Everything that happens to me happens for me. I may not understand how in this moment, but God and the laws of the universe He created are guiding me to my highest purpose."

These may or may not ring true to you.

If not, don't use them.

Come up with some statements like this that you truly believe. You shouldn't have to convince yourself.

And that make you feel motivated and inspired.

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I hope this helps you live a completely different and better life from now on out.

If you'd like me to personally coach you to become free of fear, send me a message on Twitter: https://twitter.com/thechrisshupe

And subscribe to my newsletter if you want a life improvement download just like this in your inbox every Saturday.